8/11

For 25 years I have been trying to be the best Jasmin that I can be...I struggle with reality sometimes...what world do I live and love in where being a stripper, video girl, Instagram host or model equates success. When I was a young girl I remember watching my mother get up for work every day, I remember watching women on TV like Claire Huxtable and the young college-aged women on A Different World and I remember knowing that was the life I had to have. I had to be a college educated women who knew my worth was more than my looks but also know that my looks were a plus. Now let's fast forward to 2015 where there is no privacy or any responsibility...reality TV is the goal of most or to be famous....see now I have never desired to be famous except for that time when I lived in Atlanta for an extended vaca and I was just figuring out my life. I thank God for blessing me with my morals and my self-discipline but in this day and age, I wonder if that's holding me back...Sitting at my desk trying to figure out how I can make that impact on the world without losing my soul to do so, without compromising who I am and who I want to be but at the same time wanting to make a difference in the eyes of the youth. So I came up with the concept of Ladies in Training, I have dabbled in creating my own mentor programs several times but my laziness got in the way...but this time it is different...my silence is acceptance and there are certain things I am just not willing to accept. I want young women to know showing everything won't necessarily get you to the top but it will get you noticed. Going to college is hard but so is trying to be famous. Now I am not here to judge- because I too am still figuring out my place in this world, I just know there is more to being a black woman than being or becoming over-sexualized. I have nieces who look up to me and secretly brag about me on career day, so I can't just do anything... I gave up dating because I wanted to be the best me and that sucks on it's on but that is a whole other blog and story if you have a bottle of wine and reruns of Sex and The City to watch.  Now I am sitting at my desk contemplating my next move, my next thought and I am nervous, to say the least, but I know my task in life is not to sit behind the desk and be told what to do but to actually change someone's thought process or their life. I am not better than anyone but I had to learn my worth- I am not better than you but I am better than this situation or this event. I kept telling people that I deserved more but I wasn't putting myself on the same pedestal that I talked about...in order to change your world you have to begin to change the things that make up your world.