Can you help me?

I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T

I know you know what that spells.

Independent means to be free from outside control. Being independent means not depending on another’s authority. In no shape or form am I trying to say that you should be depending on every person you meet or assuming that they know what you need or what’s going on with you. Nobody knows what’s going on with you because half the time you don’t even understand what is going on with you. But that doesn’t mean that they are not willing to hear you. Don’t let your false sense of independence cause you to push the people away who want to be there for you. If you need someone for anything, whether it be for moral support or just to tell you that you are wrong when you need to hear it, allowing someone to be there for you is what being grown is all about.

Being a grown up means understanding that it's ok to need someone. I have noticed that people love to say that nobody is there for them. That is a pity-party that I refuse to join. It’s like Sorry, not sorry I don’t want to hear it. Of course, I am not there for you when I have no clue what you need from me. I may be a lot of things, but I have yet to be a mind reader. As we get older we must understand that it’s not about needing the approval of others, but the need for someone to just be there for you. Someone to not judge you, but to be understood. Someone to hear you and not respond. Sometimes you need someone to be there to tell you to shut up and get it together.

 As women, we all get to a point where we say, “I can do this by myself, and I don’t need anybody.” Or sometimes we say “I am a grown woman…” Grown women seldom have to point out how adult they are, they just are adults or in fact grown women. Being independent is marvelous, but sometimes it can bring out a level of immaturity. Let’s face it, we all need somebody to survive. You cannot do it alone. No matter how many times you say it, you need someone to support you when you doubt is higher than your confidence. We all need a good solid support system. It is amazing to me how much I have learned being “grown” I have learned that being grown has nothing to do with age it has everything to do with maturity. Being grown means reaching out for help instead of suffering in a silo.

 The most adult thing I have done has been asking for help when I needed it and not after I have already created the problem. I have realized that placing myself in a silo has had nothing to do with me feeling like no one will be there or that they don’t care. I realized it was because I was embarrassed of failing or embarrassed that they may ‘judge me’. You can be so embarrassed that you may fail that you don’t even attempt. If you are searching for independence and feel like you have to do it alone, don’t. Understand, it is ok to be vulnerable. It is ok to need someone to do something for you. Asking for help does not make you a child, asking for help means that you are mature enough to understand that you cannot do it all on your own. (And even if you could do it all alone, why would you want to?) But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 2 Corinthians 12:9

 If you feel like you can’t talk to people because they talk too much, write it down or talk to God. Just don’t walk around like you are alone because you are not. Don’t limit your support system because you are too independent to ask for what you need.