How is your soul?

How is your soul?

One day when my book is a best seller and people search for me to tell me how I have helped them I will begin by asking 'How is your soul'? I read on Facebook this morning a status and it touched me it said: "sometimes how are you is not enough...I genuinely need to know about your soul..."

Maybe it stood out to me because on this day my soul needs repairing. How do I repair my soul? Like, is there a soul repairing class that I can sign up for to get my soul right? How do I get my soul right? Peace, Clarity, Understanding, Patience, Dignity and self-respect!

You have to know that you are not alone in this feeling. The feeling of not being enough, of confusion and defeat. You are not the only one. I feel so comfortable in my skin now because I understand that I am not the only one going through anything. I used to feel like nobody cared. Like it was just me against the world or the world against me, most times. I have discovered that whenever I am in a battle I have chose to be in this battle. Either consciously or subconsciously i have decided to fight in the battle. How can you find peace when you are always ready to battle. I realized that I am always ready to battle because I am battling myself.  As I am writing this I understand that most are battling between what we want and what we need. You need to understand that you cant get to where you want because you are not sure what you need. Sometimes your wants can distract you from what you need.

Take some time and fix your soul. If you fix your soul nobody can get to you.

Complaining!

The more you complain about a particular thing the more you run into that thing constantly and consistently. This morning I was having a conversation with a friend, I started to complain but then I thought about how the more I complain everything I am complaining about will begin to happen. I have realized that the power of thought and the power of words are real. If you keep talking about bad things, bad things will keep happening to you. If you want good things from life, give life good thoughts from you.

We spend so much time complaining about little things that these little things become big things. Have you ever noticed that you can think a person up, or have you ever set down to call someone and they were calling you at the same time. Think about that, how powerful your mind must be if you can think people up or speak someone up. If you gave some of that same thought to positive things imagine how much more positive things you would attract. Start thinking about what you want more instead of what you don't want!

Spend more time giving your mind power instead of negative poison.
Today I woke up ready to complain, I had the text already prepared but before I pressed send I had to think about how I woke up this morning in my right mind and I had to say I am blessed, I am alive and I have another chance to figure it out. Do you know how many people didn't wake up this morning, how many people didn't have anything to complain about?

I want a life of abundance. I DEMAND a life of abundance. In order to want and demand this life I have to change my thoughts.

YOUR THOUGHTS CONTROL YOU. You can think yourself into a mental prison OR you can think yourself into a life of prosperity. Sometimes it can be hard to stop those feelings of defeat or those feelings of self-doubt. But in reality, it is a choice. You control your thoughts but they can control you if you let them. Stop listening to the doubt channel and tune into the clarity channel. Doubt will destroy, but only if you let it. I choose to not let doubt keep me out of the game. I choose to change my thoughts so that I can be in control.

Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.
Proverbs 18:22

Stop Running!

You can run, but you can't hide.

You keep running from one thing and then you end up running into another. Running so long you don't even know what you are running from. Do you feel like running currently? Running until you can not run anymore? I feel like running into a new career, a new life. I just want to run. But what are you running from? From responsibility? from failure? disappointment? pain? Every time you run from something you RUN right back into it, just this time it's dressed differently. I ran from my job in July ran right into the same situation. I have run from so much. I have changed the route so many times by running away from myself. 

What do you mean by "I have changed the route so many times by running away from myself."? 

Instead of facing my fears countless times I have just said nonchalantly, "that wasn't for me and everything happens for a reason...' instead of believing that I could have just figured it out I would rather just say nope this is too much for me. 

Instead of running away from the problem, let's face the problem. Look at the problem and say how can I solve you. Stop letting your problems take care of you and then get mad when you can't solve them. 

A problem is a matter or situation regarded as unwelcome or harmful and needing to be dealt with and overcome. In order to solve the problem, we must stop creating these problems. 

---How do I stop creating the problems? 

So many times instead of finding solutions we create excuses. The fear of facing our own problems limits our ability to solve the issues we are facing. Rather than looking within and taking a deep dive into what is wrong with us, we focus on the external factors that are much easier to blame for things going wrong. When it comes to introspection, most of us are scared to even be honest. Instead of facing ourselves we look for the nearest exit, we want to run away and never look back. When you run from problems you are creating more stress. If you continue to avoid yourself and your problems you can begin to acquire more stress. The longer you run from your problem the more complex and compounded the problems begin to become. Learning how to stop running away from yourself can make all the difference in the world. Learning to stop blaming everyone else and having some accountability for your actions can make every difference in the world. To be in control of your life you can't run from yourself you have to face it! 

Think things through before you commit to anything think about how it will make you feel, how it will make you better, how it will change you for the better and how it will change you for the worst. When everything seems that it is going wrong and you start to feel like you are drowning. Stop right there and relax. Don't Panic! Stay calm and think things through! I know it is easier said than done but have you ever noticed that by panicking you cause more stress and create more problems. Out of panic sometimes we make stupid decisions that could've been avoided if we took the time to think.

Don't feel guilty about being in a bad situation: instead of feeling guilty about being in the situation strategize about how to get yourself out of the situation and never allow yourself to get back in the situation. Stop feeling bad and not allowing yourself to ever feel good. 

Acknowledge the problem before it acknowledges you. Be honest with yourself. Look at your life and just be honest. Ask yourself the questions that you want to know the answers too. Stand outside of yourself so that you can truly see yourself. Be neutral with you!

Stand up for yourself: Be brave! Being brave means exploring your weaknesses so that you may be strong! Look into yourself, exploring your weaknesses can be hard but this is not about belittling yourself it's about uplifting yourself. Work through the negatives about yourself  and discover why you doubt yourself. Self-reflection is so important it allows you to see you for who you really are.

New Living Translation

"That's why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:10 

#lostfiles

Take notes! Let's take a journey!

Answer these questions: Who am I? Am I who I think I am? And am I all I ought to be? 

Find a focal point for your year: Give your life a theme of purpose

Set goals that are specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and timely. All goals should be SMART:

Specific: 

Measurable: 

Attainable: 

Realistic: 

Timely: 

Set personal goals: remaining calm, being peaceful, find out what makes you happy, find your peace, find what makes you smile

Set financial goals: save more, pay yourself like you pay your bills, set up a rainy day fund 

Reset your default mode: Everything has a reset button when it comes to technology but people, we cant just reset a moment or go back to factory settings but what we can do is change our attitudes and our approach to those around us. Change your mental zip code. I know sometimes you cant just pick up and move everything in your life but you can change your mentality. You can move from a negative space to a more positive place. Acknowledge whats wrong and begin to focus on whats right! Acknowledge, accept, and change what you can and then let go of the chaos. 

Sometimes you need to change your focus. Stop focusing on what you haven't done yet and focus on what you have already completed. Start with your already done list! Focus on what you have accomplished and where you can go from there. Get out your own way! 

A few tips: "Bless the gifts that come wrapped in sandpaper" I cannot remember where I heard this but I know it helped me change the way I think. Sandpaper is used for what? Sandpaper is used for preparing wood for paint,polishing metal and can be used to roughen some materials. Wow, bless the gifts that come wrapped in sandpaper because they may be preparing you for a tough situation that you will need to get out of polished and stronger! Every problem, even those that we cant find solutions for are meant to make us better. It is not about what happens to you but about how you handle what happens to you. Every experience is a lesson. It is up to you which lesson you will choose to learn.

Stop just reacting and learn to listen!
Listen to understand and not to respond!
Respond with reasoning!

Stay in your lane!

Just realizing how many things we complain about tends to stress me out even more. I don't have this or I want this, and everyone else has more than I have. What God has for you is for you and only you. God has three answers yes, not now and no. There are no maybes with God. Gods timing is perfect. Your struggle is perfectly apart of his divine plan, your financial breakthrough is perfectly apart of Gods plan. Just imagine if you had everything you claim you wanted...would you do the right thing? Would you still praise God or would you praise those things. You have to learn to live within your moment...live for YOU and not the next person’s moment. The secret is to learn to how to pass every test that God gives us. Learn to be happy with what you have and watch how God will bless you with more. A lot of times we fail because we are comparing our success to the next persons...your success will never be identical to anyone else's. Stay in your lane and watch how you get blessed.

I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. (Philippian 4:12 NLT)

Watch out!

As a 26-year-old who grew up with social media, I have to admit that I have become a follower of many things. A follower of trends, of relationships, of blogs - just a follower. I am writing this blog because I was just looking at the Instagram page of a random girl and I went back about 52 weeks into her life. First, I must admit how distracting AND pointless it was for me to stalk her life like that. What attracted me to her Instagram page was the accolades that she mentioned in her bio. (regardless if true or not true, I have learned that people are not who they "post" to be.)  I was fond of the B.A. and M.B.A. following her name,  the awards from Forbes, extravagant purses, clothes, shoes and the beautiful vacations she took. I was watching her life and was like, my life sucks. I mean instantly, after seeing what her life seems to be I felt some type of way. It was not jealousy but a wave of can I do that? Will I do that? How do I do that? What does it take to do that? Why am I not doing it? What is the- the that  I even do? I had to snap back into reality...my actual reality. My reality where I know that pictures are just pictures and words are just words but actions are actions. Actions happen when you believe in yourself and not the pictures. Or actions happen when you see the picture and understand that you too can create that life for you. Pictures may tell one thousand words but Instagram is staged. Social media is staged. Why would anyone post the negative instead of the positive? If you came across a page on Instagram where all the person talked about is being poor, mentally and physically you would hit the unfollow button quick. Why would anyone be honest with a bunch of strangers, you have the right to create the person who you want to be. There is nothing wrong with creating the person who you want to be and then actually being it. So many people are caught up in faking it until they make it that they never even begin to do the work to actually make it.
Let me clarify this by saying I am not a hater of social media but I am living in my own reality. Understanding that life is not a problem to be solved but a reality to be lived. Social media should be a virtual vision board but don’t let it create an observer out of you. Don’t just keep watching and liking everybody else’s success or pictures of what may be a success and get out there and work! Work your gift like you watch other people work their gifts.

Are you an observer or a doer?
A doer is a person who actively does things instead of just thinking or talking about them
An observer is a person who just watches and likes.

The other day my nephew was over my house and he was on YouTube watching a little boy play a Lego game. Watching another little boy play the same game that he has on his iPad but instead of actually playing the game himself he was observing his peer. This was a very confusing experience for me. Now, let me tell you why I was confused by this- but then ultimately fascinated. Instead of playing this fun game, this 6-year-old would rather watch as someone else plays the Lego game. I watched him watch this kid play and after a while, I said to him ‘is that fun to you, watching as someone else plays the same game that you have and could be playing?’ He says “well, you watch TV” and then I thought about it. I have the same 24 hours as everybody who I am watching so why am I wasting my 24 hours watching them when I could be working on me. I am asking this 6-year-old who is doing something simple, fun and innocent such a complex question. A complex question that I am not even sure I have the answer to. I need to ask myself that question. Not only do I need to ask myself that question… I need to respond to that question with a plan of action for my life. I mean who knew that watching a child, watch another child play a game would give me insight to my life. I have been a watcher, a complainer, and a procrastinator. I have been complaining about watching people live out their dreams while I procrastinate my own dreams and keep liking and watching them live in their moment. I am now a doer (trying to do and be more daily, because some days it gets hard and I would rather just watch) because I got and still am tired of watching everybody around me do something and all I can do is be supportive. I was an observer because it is always easier watching others be great than actually trying to be great for yourself. Being a doer takes actual work and most of us would rather watch other people do the hard work.

A few tips:
Surround yourself with other doers- It is true that birds of a feather flock together. Find people who are constantly trying to be better and not stagnant. Because even if you are a watcher you will get tired of just watching. The top five people you call/ talk to are a reflection of you. Is your top five worthy of being your top 5? How about this, are you worthy of being in your top 5?

Stop giving energy to things that do not work – Insanity defined by Einstein is doing the same thing over and over again...are you going insane?

Simple: Being a doer means less talking more actions!
And the LORD answered me, and said, Write the vision, and make it plain upon tables, that he may run that readeth it.” Habukkuk 2:2

Write the vision, make it plain and then run with it... Don’t stop and call your friends until you get there. The problem is many of us start talking before we start walking. People prey on prayers, dream killers and negative Nancy’s pretending to be your friends but literally just around to shoot you down and tell you maybe that’s not for you. Make your plan, plain and work your gift! Less talking, MORE ACTION!

Don’t talk about it be about it! If you keep talking about your plans to everybody, you will wake up one day and somebody will have used your great idea!

Save that Money, Honey!

 Before you can save or invest money, you must earn it. Solomon emphasized diligence as a key to financial success. A lazy person will be poor, and most poor are relatively lazy. But the labors of the diligent man will acquire riches.

He who has a slack hand becomes poor,

But the hand of the diligent makes rich. Proverbs 10:4

The most important lesson that I have learned by listening and by bumping my head is to save my money. Prepare! Prepare! Prepare! Rainy days are real and you must prepare! There is nothing like having it all for fake and needing it all for real. There are 30 days in the month and you only have 2 days’ worth of money. Learning to save is the first key! So many people, both young and old do not understand the principles of fiscal responsibility. Paying yourself like you pay your bills is the first key to success; followed by actually paying your bills.

When your money is not together, you may have to put yourself in an uncomfortable situation to get the money! You may have to ask and you know how INDEPENDENT you are. You may have to take a job that seems to be beneath you, you may have to spend time working harder than needed just to barely make it.

Save that money, honey!

I know it’s hard to save money when there is barely any money coming in and when you are getting some money it already belongs to someone else. I remember once having to borrow money to pay back the money I borrowed to pay back the money I had borrowed a few weeks ago. It gets to a point when you don’t want to have to be in that situation. I mean, I got fed up with just not being able to do what I needed, not just what I wanted. Ignoring my credit like it was a boyfriend who would eventually get the point only led for me to be met with debt and her husband interest.

Lesson: Stop believing in someone else more than self. Believing that another person’s reassurance in YOU can assure you more than your own self-belief and your own self-worth won’t help you save a dollar. Money is not the root of all evil. The love of money and the lack of respect for money causes us to put ourselves in situations we should not be in. Being irresponsible with my money has taught me to respect money. It has taught me to open up the mail before I throw the bills in the drawer. Make arrangements and stop being prideful. Pride has never paid a bill.

Being financially irresponsible has taught me to take care of my business before it takes care of me.

Lesson: Always be prepared to take care of yourself even if someone else has promised to take care of you. (Nobody can take care of you, like you) Let everything someone does for you be a gift, not a need. Learn to say no. Saying no can save you from a lot of situations. Saying no can save you from yourself. How many times have you said yes, when you really wanted to say no and then ended up being in a bad situation. Learning to say no will save you. I have said this statement 20 times, but my favorite word is no. NO! Just feels good rolling off my tongue.

There’s danger in putting up security for a stranger’s debt;

It’s safer not to guarantee another person’s debt. Proverbs 11:15

Save that money, honey!

A few tips on saving:

1.       Pay yourself first (10 – 20 % of whatever you receive)

2.       Spend less than you earn

3.       Pay bills (on time) if you have no bills, put money to the side as if you are paying bills.

4.       Stop eating out/hanging out with your necessity money

5.       Don’t count on another

Being financially responsible takes commitment. Are you committed to being able to do what you need while also taking care of your wants? Learn to live off what you have already and not what you are expecting!  

The wise have wealth and luxury,
    but fools spend whatever they get. Proverbs 21:20

Can you help me?

I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T

I know you know what that spells.

Independent means to be free from outside control. Being independent means not depending on another’s authority. In no shape or form am I trying to say that you should be depending on every person you meet or assuming that they know what you need or what’s going on with you. Nobody knows what’s going on with you because half the time you don’t even understand what is going on with you. But that doesn’t mean that they are not willing to hear you. Don’t let your false sense of independence cause you to push the people away who want to be there for you. If you need someone for anything, whether it be for moral support or just to tell you that you are wrong when you need to hear it, allowing someone to be there for you is what being grown is all about.

Being a grown up means understanding that it's ok to need someone. I have noticed that people love to say that nobody is there for them. That is a pity-party that I refuse to join. It’s like Sorry, not sorry I don’t want to hear it. Of course, I am not there for you when I have no clue what you need from me. I may be a lot of things, but I have yet to be a mind reader. As we get older we must understand that it’s not about needing the approval of others, but the need for someone to just be there for you. Someone to not judge you, but to be understood. Someone to hear you and not respond. Sometimes you need someone to be there to tell you to shut up and get it together.

 As women, we all get to a point where we say, “I can do this by myself, and I don’t need anybody.” Or sometimes we say “I am a grown woman…” Grown women seldom have to point out how adult they are, they just are adults or in fact grown women. Being independent is marvelous, but sometimes it can bring out a level of immaturity. Let’s face it, we all need somebody to survive. You cannot do it alone. No matter how many times you say it, you need someone to support you when you doubt is higher than your confidence. We all need a good solid support system. It is amazing to me how much I have learned being “grown” I have learned that being grown has nothing to do with age it has everything to do with maturity. Being grown means reaching out for help instead of suffering in a silo.

 The most adult thing I have done has been asking for help when I needed it and not after I have already created the problem. I have realized that placing myself in a silo has had nothing to do with me feeling like no one will be there or that they don’t care. I realized it was because I was embarrassed of failing or embarrassed that they may ‘judge me’. You can be so embarrassed that you may fail that you don’t even attempt. If you are searching for independence and feel like you have to do it alone, don’t. Understand, it is ok to be vulnerable. It is ok to need someone to do something for you. Asking for help does not make you a child, asking for help means that you are mature enough to understand that you cannot do it all on your own. (And even if you could do it all alone, why would you want to?) But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 2 Corinthians 12:9

 If you feel like you can’t talk to people because they talk too much, write it down or talk to God. Just don’t walk around like you are alone because you are not. Don’t limit your support system because you are too independent to ask for what you need.

Jeopardy!!!

"Pride and confidence in oneself; a feeling that one is behaving with honor and dignity."  

What is self-respect for a 1,000,000?

 Do you know how important it is to have pride in yourself? I know, seems like a silly thing to not have. Like, who doesn't have self-respect? When I was a young girl my mother used to always say "if you don't believe in yourself, who will?' I never knew how important that was "to believe in myself" until I continued to be in situations where all I had was my faith in God and the confidence in myself. My mother probably did not know that she was preparing me to help reach other young women in the importance of self-respect. Actually, she probably did know. I mean the world is hard and cold and if you don't have that confidence in yourself - you will not make it. That sounds harsh but, in reality, it is the only truth. People who love you will hurt you, so imagine people who do not know you. Sometimes people hurt you and then they move on with their day. They have not even realized that they have ruined your day but it has shifted the paradigm of your day. Your normal focus has been altered by a person who does not even know that your thought process has shifted. Not only do they not know your thought process has shifted, they don't even care. The power is yours, BUT so many of us give OUR power to others without even knowing. Self-respect is what kicks in when people doubt you, self-respect is what kicks in when you doubt yourself.

"Lack of confidence in one's self and ones abilities?"
What is self-doubt for 1,000,000?

  

It is hard to flush out the idea that you have been treating yourself just as bad as the people who you don't want to treat you bad. Why are you treating yourself badly? Think about it. What is it that you are seeing about yourself that is causing you to harm yourself? When I was treating myself "bad" I was not aware. I was in a situation where I thought I was treating myself right. I was working my body out, but not my mind. I was so fixated on the physical that I had forgotten about my mental growth. I forgot what my mother told me about believing in myself. I can be honest. It is hard to believe in yourself when every time you think you are about to catch a break you actually break your arm.

 Self-doubt happens when you grow up, when you get your first job, when you fail a test, when you get your heart broke, after graduation. Self-doubt happens. It is a part of growing up. When you feel like everybody in the world has counted you out, count yourself in.  Easier said than done? Not really. This is what affirmations are for. Speak some magic into your life. Yes, take some power and speak it into your life. I know it's lame and not that exciting. But it is much better than walking around speaking negativity into your life. If you say I can’t all day by the end of the day you really just won’t be able to. Words have power. Speak power into your life instead of inefficiencies.

I believe in you. I see the confidence in you!

Mirror, Mirror

Have you ever felt like you were being attacked? That everything you said and everything you did was just scrutinized. Not just by your parents or your peers but literally by everyone. The clerk at the bank, you're significant other, The waitress at the restaurant, the kids playing outside. The list could just go on and on but then do you ever believe that you could be the cause of what's bothering you. No, of course not everybody else is crazy and you are perfectly sane. Two tips: 1. Stop giving everybody the power to get under your skin. 2. Stop trying to follow everyone else's life and create your own life. It's not me, it is everybody else.  But, just in case this is really about you...what are you going to do? How are you going to change that? What if you were exactly what everybody else said you were but YOU refused to believe it. Aren't you tired of being the person everyone said you would be when that person is mean or busy or "crazy" or just not the person who you envisioned yourself being?

There are many times in life when you need to just look in the mirror and have a conversation with yourself. Self, I am tired of being who everybody says that I am. Self, when I look in the mirror I see greatness. How do I become the greatness that I see versus the mediocrity everyone is speaking into my life. First: Shut out the noise and find yourself. Who is it that you see in the mirror? Who is it that you want to see? Second: Treat yourself better so that you only accept that treatment as well.

Self, I want to be my best self, can you help me get there? Talking to yourself may seem crazy (Only if you answer back) but who else knows you like you do...there is a constant theme when it comes to self-growth and that first step is honesty with oneself. Look in the mirror and strip yourself of the expectations from outside factors. Find out what you expect from yourself like you know what you expect from everyone else. I expect my man to be this, I expect my mom to do this and I expect my dad to be there and I expect my friends to understand. But what do you expect from yourself? “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.”

You can call your friends, maybe even talk to your pastor but if you are not ready, to be honest with you and tell yourself to get out your way. Then you will constantly begin to perpetuate the stereotypes that have been placed on you. I truly believe a lot of greatness has been halted by our own personal thoughts about ourselves. Imagine if you did all of the things that people said you couldn't do instead of the things they said you would do. Give energy to the things you love instead of the things you dislike. Easier said than done...think about it. There are times when I have been pissed off and I have got to tell someone about how pissed off I am but what if I just wrote it down, thought about how to improve the situation and just moved on how much of a better position would I be in. Stop giving small situations big limitations.

Learning to get out your own way is hard. But allowing people to be in your way is easy, we use these people as tools. Tools to help count us out when we need to be counted in. Instead of having accountability partners we have self-doubt partners or pity-parties. I am tired of having a pity party and I am tired of having self-doubt crews. I enjoy people who hold me accountable, but when I am accountable for my actions I attract like minded people. The better I am to myself the better I am to others.

Mirror, Mirror give me eyes that allow me to see past the surface but eyes that allow me to see the

substance in myself.

Peace!

Dealing with no.

I want everything that I want right now!  But Success is a process. a long daunting, drawn out, exacerbating process. But everything that happens, happens in time for a reason to help you determine your purpose. Your purpose is your reason to wake up, your reason to continue but so many of us stop at the but. We can't admit our faults and let go of our excuses. Learning, to be honest with yourself is a difficult truth to face. We lie to ourselves more than we like to admit. We pretend to be happy, we pretend to have it all but in essence, we can't face ourselves. I remember when I was going through this rough patch in my life. My words were not aligning with my thoughts and my actions were not aligning with my words or thoughts. I was stubborn and angry and defensive but it wasn't my fault. It was everybody else's fault that I was in my situation. It was someone else's fault that I didn't have money saved, that I didn't get that job or that I couldn't figure out my life. If you see where I am going here, I am going into the realm of excuses. And if we know anything about anything then we know that excuses build monuments of nothingness. I got tired of making excuses about what everybody else was doing wrong to me and began admitting what I was doing wrong to myself. It sucked being honest and transparent to myself but I began to see my life change. Not overnight, but with time. With time God revealed to me that I could elevate myself to higher platforms by letting his will be done in my life. 

"You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised." Hebrews 10:36 

God's timing is not always going to be pleasing to you. I want what I want right now. God says no, I refuse to wait. Impulsive. In life, you must realize that in order to grow, you must know what it is that you are growing from. If you failed a test and never reviewed the test to learn from your mistakes how will you know what you need to correct? 

How do I deal with no? How do I trust that the pain I am enduring now is worthwhile? How do I trust the process, when I am not sure that it will work? How do I trust that this no, is not a door closing permanently? There are so many questions that remain unanswered. But, imagine if you received all the things that you have been asking for? What would you have done with all the yes's? I understand that every no is not final, but sometimes it is hard hearing no. Hard always being prepared for no. But that is when your confidence should kick in. Not the confidence that others have in you but the confidence you have in yourself. So many times we can't deal with "no" because of the expectations we are trying to live up to for someone else. The first step in dealing with no is being able to look at yourself in the mirror and have the wisdom to understand that you were not really ready for the "yes". 

I remember a time when all I heard was no. It was so common for me to hear no that I started to think my name was no. I had become the no before I even asked the question in my mind, I knew the answer would be no. I was so defeated. But, then I realized I was receiving these "no's" because I was not ready for the yes! Learning to not only understand that I was receiving the "no's" because I had not been through what I needed to get to what I wanted. There are levels and steps and dimensions you can’t just wake up on top. You have to go through something. How you deal with the "no's" will determine how many "yes's" come your way. 

Accept and learn that 'no' has 'no' power over your life but, it should encourage you to keep going. It should encourage you to look within yourself and see what you can improve. We can always do more if we want more. Stop walking around wanting everything from everyone and you won't do anything for anyone else. 

Peace be with you! 

Finishing what you started!

Peace be with you! 

May peace surround you and give you guidance! What I want to do with Ladies in Training is to surround young beautiful women in an environment where they can learn and grow together with each other. Competition is healthy but comparing yourself to your peers can be deadly. Each week or daily as my schedule permits I will update the website with a L.I.T. tip to help get us through the week. No matter how beautiful, smart, outgoing, successful or "happy" you think somebody is they still are searching for peace or learning to maintain their peace. 

Today's L.I.T. tip is to remain in your peace. Don't allow another person’s unhappy space cause you confusion.

I know it’s like, how? How can I maintain peace when I haven't found out what Peace is for me? Peace is defined as freedom from disturbance; quiet and tranquility.

How can you free yourself from disturbance? First, figure out what is disturbing you. Some of us have been living in so much noise that we don't even trust the peace that we could possibly be in. Get rid of the noise that's in your space and Life. If that noise is social media, just delete the social media! Learn to get rid of the noise so that you may be able to focus on your peace!

 
Stay L.I.T~ Jasmin 

Ladies In Training!