#sendtherain

The rain is only a nuisance when you haven't been harvesting seeds! My whole life people have been watering seeds that they have planted in me and now I am ready to watch the rain pour down on these seeds I have been planting in myself!
#sendtherain

Are you ready for what you have been praying for? Are you ready for what you said was yours, already? If you are ready then stop complaining about the storm that you are currently in. We know that storms don't last forever even when they seem like they will. I met a farmer who did not complain about the rain...he said all year I've been planting these seeds and it hasn't rained once...I've been waiting for the rain so that I can reap from the seeds I have been harvesting. There are so many moments in life when people may say something to me and I am literally like I have to write this down or write about it. When he said this to me it made my mind wander...constantly we complain about things because we are not prepared.

Think about your life as a harvest...the seeds have been planted, diligently you have been planting seeds in your life for your purpose...in order for the seeds to grow and blossom YOU have to endure the rain!

Are you prepared to win? Every win is not as glorious as the pictures. Every win is not picture perfect. Every mistake is not a failure. Do you know what it will take to win? HARDWORK AND DEDICATION! It will take you to understand that the storm will not last forever. Just because it is a storm doesn't mean you have to die. There are people who stop as soon as the storm hits, they don't believe that the rain will stop. Those people are faithless...you have been warned that you need to prepare if you are not preparing for YOUR OWN life why do you think somebody else will. The harvest is for you... How many storms have you seen in your lifetime? You have lived through enough to understand that life just keeps on going and the sun eventually comes out. Also, you learn every storm is different but YOU it is all about you. #sendtherain

I am not worried about the storm, I have prepared for the storm.
#sendtherain

“Here’s the lesson: Use your worldly resources to benefit others and make friends. Then, when your earthly possessions are gone, they will welcome you to an eternal home. “If you are faithful in little things, you will be faithful in large ones. But if you are dishonest in little things, you won’t be honest with greater responsibilities.
And if you are not faithful with other people’s things, why should you be trusted with things of your own? “No one can serve two masters. For you will hate one and love the other; you will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.”
Then he said to them, “You like to appear righteous in public, but God knows your hearts. What this world honors is detestable in the sight of God.”
Luke 16:9-10, 12-13, 15 NLT

I am going with this rain/storm metaphor because there is something about the rain and natural disasters that have to be synonymous with real natural life. See God is not a man without a sense of humor. Have you ever seen a storm so huge and destructive and then all of sudden a rainbow comes out! You cannot tell me that problems wont end. Storms destroy homes and then the sun comes out... Tuh...storms destroy lifes and then the sun comes out....the storms will happen....bad things will happen...BUT the sun has to come out! You will come out of  the storm! #sendtherain!


(nuisance means an obnoxious thing, condition or practice.....)

Lets talk about faith!

are you faithful with what you have right now? Or are you too busy complaining about what you don't have? If you can't turn your little into enough and then enough into more how do you expect to be blessed with more. If you can remain faithful during adversity imagine how you will be blessed with your prosperity. 

So many people get caught up in the 'Church' and not in the words from the bible. The actual knowledge listed book by book. We get caught up in the why's and what’s of the worlds that we forget what we need faith for. Believing in God or a higher power is not about believing in what you can't see it’s about believing in yourself. You can love a man who hurts you, forgive a friend who harms you but you can’t trust a promise that someone will love you and protect you. We put so much trust in what we can see and what we can touch or feel yet that is what continuously hurts us but we refuse to believe in the power of love and the power of faith. There are so many pessimists and not enough optimist because life has taught us that more bad will happen then good...but as I get older and the more people who I love and trust hurt me the more I realize that the power of faith is real. There is a promise in the bible that says "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." Deuteronomy 31:6. Maybe you are not a religious person, or you don't believe in God or even a higher power but if you read books for motivation, if you read books for energy for knowledge...if you read a promise that you know couldn't be broken wouldn't it make you want to know more about why you must be so strong or why you must be so courageous. Now, I love the Lord with all my soul for he heard my cry but beyond all that, as a scholar, I read books for knowledge and I love the bible because it is filled with knowledge. People have often said there are no instructions to life but in that bible, there are so many stories and instructions and guides of wisdom that I refuse to believe that.  I know that this blog won’t be for everybody but it will be for someone who is searching for themselves everywhere but inside of themselves. One thing I have learned about this "INVISIBLE" God is that he is so real and everybody else is so fake. Even if I never get to touch him - the disappointments, trials, and tribulations that I face have nothing to do with him and EVERYTHING TO DO WITH ME AND WHO I ALLOW TO GET CLOSE TO ME! See, we blame everybody including this invisible man instead of the actual people who do the hurting. You think God took those things from you but if you could sacrifice for those things why can't you sacrifice for you. What I have learned is that God is in me...."God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved: God shall help her, and that right early." I have learned this through pain and failed relationships and failure. I am not embarrassed to say that I have failed because at least I tried. Everything won't be for me, but what is for me will be.  Every time I count on someone and I give all the glory to that person or that thing God shows me that I still don't give him enough glory. I had to learn that it is not the troubles of life that God will keep you from but there will be that God will bring you to to get you through. Now, let’s say you don't believe in anything that is fine, but I would rather spend my whole life doing what is right purposely to find out there is no God instead of doing whatever I wanted whenever I wanted only to find out there is a God. 

#Distracted

Proverbs 4:25
"Look straight ahead, and fix your eyes on what lies before you."

Something that prevents someone from giving full attention to something else is a distraction.

Life is full of distractions...tv, reality tv, social media, friends, relationships... sometimes a distraction can be a good thing and sometimes distractions can be negatively impacting on you. Or you could be using your distractions as scapegoats to keep your mind off what it needs to be on. The other day I was working on a project and I kept doing other things...not other things of significance but just anything besides what I was supposed to be doing and I realized sometimes I love the distractions. People always say 'I work best under pressure' and while that may be true for some - that is not true for me. I usually procrastinate because I am either doing something I just don't want to do AT ALL or because I am afraid of how much REAL work I will have to do (not just that social media work where you only post workout pictures after you had surgery or after you intended to work out but the clothes were comfy instead but that work where there are REAL results).


Are you distracted? Are you distracting yourself? You know there is something you need to be doing but you keep doing the complete opposite? I know...we feed off of our distractions...we feed off the noise...sometimes the noise is better than the silence because the silence makes us face our fears and our problems. You ever met somebody that can't sit alone, that's a person who cannot find their own peace. The silence in the room makes us face what we are trying to avoid, the noise we use to fill up the voids we are searching for. It is time out for all the distractions...that business plan you have been working on...that food truck you have been thinking about...let go of the distractions in your life and begin to focus on you and your future and your success. You cannot dream about success or tweet success until it comes you have to work hard for it! We are not always chosen because we are good, we are chosen because we do our best. Whenever you begin to do less than your best it is reflected in who you are and what you do even what you say and how you say it. If you learn to put the distractions down right now while they are just mere distractions imagine how far you could go. Don't let a distraction turn into a habit that can't and will not benefit you.

Pressing forward!

It is over now. When the worst happens only the best can happen from that point on out. What is "it", It is whatever you have going on in your mind or life preventing you from going forward. Life changes...break ups...divorce....separation...confusion...job loss...life happens...but when life happens what happens to you? Life is all about receiving what it is you are looking for. What are you looking for? Define it. Own it. Go get it!  Some of us so many times say we want something and when we get exactly what we want we are not ready to receive it. Be open to receiving what you are seeking. I am seeking peace, financial security and freedom from debt and I am open to all that comes with it. You have to go through something In order to get to something. Why do I always have to go through something!? I know that is what you are thinking but it's because you were chosen for it, you will beat it. You are the contender. The best is out there waiting for you, needing you to get to your best life.

"I traveled seventy states..." when I first heard Solange sing these lyrics...I'm like where in the U.S. are there seventy states? Solange, my friend in my head, you are tripping - but then I realized that I myself have traveled 278 states of mind trying to figure out who I am and where I'm going. I remember I moved to Georgia 'searching' (traveling physically but not traveling mentally) I remember I went on vacation 32 times in one year... I was traveling physically but not traveling mentally...you can take the girl out the place but doesn't mean she will be in a different space. Your state of mind is continuously changing and as it should be. Life is about evolving and changing. Not remaining stagnant and afraid... if you had a broken device and all the tools you needed to put it back together would you leave it broken or put it back together? Think about that, if you had all the tools you needed to fix what was broken would you leave it broken? I don't know about you but I am tired of leaving broken pieces trailing behind me and I refuse to have all the tools I need but not utilize them.

You are not meant to stay the same. You are meant to grow. You are meant to explore all that life has to offer and you are meant to get it. Stop feeling sorry about what happened in the past and be grateful for what is coming. Because greatness is coming, are you ready? Are you prepared? Get prepared. My favorite quote by Oprah talks about how it is more important to be prepared than it is to be lucky... "I believe luck is preparation meeting opportunity. If you hadn’t been prepared when the opportunity came along, you wouldn’t have been lucky." If Oprah is talking about being prepared versus waiting for luck than you must know YOU have got to be prepared. Think about how many opportunities that have passed you by because you were not prepared in that moment. If you are tired of living in the same state of mind don't just think about changing your physical location but begin with your mental. Where you are currently is not where you will be permanently. You don't have to physically move in location to change who you are but you have to be willing to move to a different place mentally. Our mental state determines who we are, how we treat people, how we allow people to treat us and what we accept from people. In order to receive the most out of life, you have to get into a good space mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally. Stop allowing the past to haunt you in your present so that you can make it to your future. It is over now (whatever 'it' may have been is over...and I know you never thought it would be over but now that is over and you are still living you do realize that YOU can only stay down if you choose too) you have nowhere to go from here but up.

Gratitude

The quality of being thankful. Thankful- being full of thanks. Thanks - to be appreciative of what it is you are receiving. Grateful - full of gratitude. The holidays are pivotal times in many of our lives...some of us love the holidays so much that we live and breathe the holiday spirit and some of us dread the holidays for they remind us of memories of the past...some memories we long to remember and some we wish we could forget. But only pencils can erase and us human beings cannot. We must learn to be full of gratitude for the memories, for the present and for it all even the bad memories and definitely the good memories.

Gratitude is not about being thankful for a physical present; it is about being aware that someone was thinking of you. It is about being aware of someones presence in your life, it is the confirmation that you matter in someone else's world. Many people talk about how nobody is there for them and they have no support:but first lets point out that many people don't even know how to support themselves let alone support another person. Second, what about all the people who do support you...are you not grateful for them or is there support not enough? I have learned through out the years that with time comes wisdom and with lessons come pain and that pain sharpens that wisdom. The biggest lesson I have learned is the importance of being grateful for what I have and not what I lack. Of course I am happy for all that I have and I don't want to lose it. I don't believe I work hard to lose what I have worked hard to build but unfortunately life can be full ups and downs but it is all about how you handle those ups and downs. Learn to be just as grateful for the downs as you are for the ups. Being grateful will help you become great.

Every year Thanksgiving is the day where we are supposed to be the most grateful. But this year has been full of ups and downs and smiles and frowns and sometimes I honestly have not been that grateful. I have not been that thankful...because I feel or I felt like life is mine and everything in it belongs to me. But life is a gift that I have been given and I must cherish it and just be thankful for life...we spend so much time complaining about what we lack and what we miss that we constantly continue to lack and miss out on more.

Think about all the time you spend talking about what you don't like, following people who you don't like, just giving all your energy to what you dislike instead of giving your energy to what you love and what you desire. I am learning that life is a not a problem to be solved but a reality to be lived.

But in YOUR reality you have to be grateful and thankful for all of the things that you have and all things that God has taken away from you. Gratitude and thankfulness don't just matter when everything in your life is going right....you really need gratitude and thankfulness when everything seems to be going wrong and you want to run away. I am thankful this year for everything God has taken away from me. Now, at first I was mad as hell. But every test teaches you a lesson and I know it doesn't seem like a school house lesson because in school the lesson usually comes before the test... think about it this way...what you thought was the test...was just a lesson preparing you for the real test. Be grateful for all those tears,  be grateful because it could've been worst. Be grateful that what you thought was the end was only the beginning. I am grateful that every time that I think the doors are closing shut on me, new doors open.

I am grateful. I am thankful. I am appreciative. I accept the test because I know all of this is just practice preparing me for the REAL TEST. Be grateful for what you have, be grateful for what you have lost. I am thankful that God took everything that he took from me EVEN though I don't understand why. Be grateful and thankful with me.

Happy Grateful Everyday Day!

Work in Progress!

I am a work in progress. The Lord knows my heart. Emotions take over and I pray that the good Lord still knows my heart. Logic tells me to do one thing yet my emotions get the best of me and I revert back to ego and my ego won't let ANYONE try me. Often I pray that I am emptied out of my fleshly self and that only words of impact and direction come out of my mouth. But let me tell you, it is hard. It is easy to curse someone out, but it is hard to walk away without responding. I have learned recently that hurt people hurt people. Hurt people say exactly what they know will trigger you out of your peace. BUT, peace starts with you and it begins within. True peace won't let ego knock you out your square. How do you move out of ego and into peace?? First you have to admit that you have an ego. Ego is defined as a person's self-esteem or self-importance. How can feeling self-important be a bad thing? Remember, too much of anything can become a bad thing.

Currently, I am in a process. This process is difficult because I don't know the outcome. I will be fine of course, I just don't know the road to fine and that is what is scary. My true self-says to trust the process and work diligently through the process my ego says play victim. My ego is screaming to me "They hurt you, hurt them" but my true-self is saying just trust the process. My ego is getting the best of me because when in doubt you need the confidence break...it’s like a devil sitting on the shoulder looking at me like..."so, you not sending that crazy text?"

People with understanding control their anger: Think about this...how can you control your anger? How can you control your ego? Ultimately the question is: can you control yourself? Self-control is the ultimate measure of peace. Self-control will stop you before you start. And every day you won't be in control but if you strive to be in control daily...you will be. Yesterday, I lost self-control and I said every mean thing that I could think of. I was so hurt that I said all these hurtful things some that I meant and some that I just said because I knew it would hurt. Let me tell you how this disturbed MY peace, MY mind, and MY clarity.

People with understanding control their anger. I could not control my anger but because I was searching for clarity from a person who didn't even care that they were hurting me. I was losing my self-control (MY SELF-CONTROL) over someone else whose day would go on. I had to realize that understanding was something that someone else could not give me. I had to get the answers from within. I realized this after I lost my cool, after I cried, after I was embarrassed by what came out of my mouth. A hot temper shows great foolishness. Yesterday, I was a fool because I let my temper get the best of me. I am a work in progress. Today, I can acknowledge and move on because I am aware.

I am able to share failures because no one is perfect. Life is not about living in the problem but getting to the solution. Yes, there will be people who piss you off...some even purposely. Don't give them your power. Don't look like a fool because you are mad in the moment.

If you are as great as you are do you really have to scream it everywhere you go or will people just see you. See greatness shines from within...greatness doesn't need make up...it doesn't need fancy clothes...all greatness needs to do is just show up. But ego gets in the way and we can't just show up we have to SHOW OUT... You deserve to just show up. You deserve the peace that you have been missing. You deserve conversations that don't turn into arguments. You deserve arguments that don't turn into fights. You deserve to be understood. The theme is that YOU deserve what you have been missing. I know we are all a work in progress but stop letting everybody take you there and they don't even plan on going with you. Woooo... drops mic….. don’t give your peace to someone who came to steal it.

People with understanding control their anger; a hot temper shows great foolishness. - Proverbs 14:29

Piece of the Peace!

What are you doing? What do you need? How can I help you? How can we help one another? How can we reciprocate exactly what we want and get it from another human being? Why is it we suffer in silence instead of speaking out loud about what it is that is bothering us. I spoke at an event recently and all the women had more in common than the  actual fact that they were women but as they came in they begin to separate by physical likeness. You go for what you know and that is obvious but what about the things you need help with that you don't know how to ask about. We all are striving and hoping for something greater than ourselves but sometimes it is our self that gets in the way. I listened to so many women speak about what they have kept to themselves and what exactly is private to them and why it has been private. For some due to embarrassment and shame, previously for me it has always been the shame of 'what will others think,say or feel' but now I have learned that transparency is healing. It is more embarrassing to live in a lie than it is to be at peace with your peace.

Everyday, give me a piece of the peace! The longer I keep a secret protecting someone else the longer I am damaging my own peace. Have you ever been compelled to speak and bit your tongue because everybody doesn't/didn't need to know your business. My mother taught me a lot by not telling me the things that I thought she should tell me. I thought she should talk to me through heart aches, disappointments, and break ups but she taught me that just because something in your life stops - it doesn't give you permission to stop. My mother taught me that everything can stop except for you because if you stop who will help you remember to go. The resilience I have learned and been taught gives me so much strength but it has also taught me weakness...weakness in the sense that I thought I could do it all alone...not even thought - I believed I had no choice but to suffer in silence and only come out when I was shiny and perfect.

If you need help, call out for it. If you need direction, ask for it. If you are in a relationship and something doesn't seem right, ask someone else. It may seem like a stupid question to ask but isn't it worse when you do something stupid in real life.
Are you being tested right now? There will be no testimony without a test...if you give a testimony but don't walk me through how you got through the test I wont believe you. I have had to learn what discretion really means. Discretion doesn't mean lock yourself up alone and suffer alone. It just means to value what it is you are saying, telling and giving about yourself and others.

I was suffering yet I didn't call anyone. I was suffering yet I didn't talk about it. I thought I could ignore the pain away, meditate it away....maybe even just run away from it. I felt like I could pray about it, I knew what scripture God would lead me to(I thought I knew what God would lead me to). i thought that women were supposed to suffer silently. I had not been taught that but I observed it my entire life. I have literally been crying until someone came and opened my office door only to offer  a smile and a more than confident "everything is fine". Being a woman means you you know how to put the cape on and soar...but what about when you feel like your cape is strangling you and all the other women are soaring beautifully. In my immaturity I thought it was crazy to ask someone how they got where they were. Everyday I am learning that its okay to ask other women how they keep their cape so shiny. It is okay to ask someone how they do what they do and all that they do. You are not weak because you need someone, you are not damaged because you have been broken. Broken crayons still color... You don't have to feel ashamed and you want me to tell you why. Because every woman knows a thing or two about being a woman and about pain and rejection. Every woman knows that something can be wrong and you don't even know why...but if you never ask or talk to someone about it...how will you know?

As a young woman I have often questioned why...why me...why right now...why not right now...and the only answer I can come up with is because if not me then who. Think about it...everything that you are going through right now is not happening by a mistake and if it is a mistake you are meant to learn. Learn to be intentional about you. In the midst of your mistakes and all your failures and all your pain don't let it consume you.  Refuse to let it consume you. I know it is easy to say and hard to do but everyday if you make that choice to move on and stop suffering in silence, you will do it. If I choose to suffer in silence how do I grow? I complained about all these test and all this weight on my shoulders but I wasn't complaining when everything was good. See, nobody is bragging about being a caterpillar. Only the butterfly will get the shine but the caterpillar is the glory to the story. I had to realize that every butterfly was a caterpillar first.

How do I break down to you how to get through what I went through and what you may be going through if I always appear perfect. I might look good on the outside but you only see the glory let me tell you my story. Purpose. Define what your purpose is so that you can understand why you go through the things you go through. In order to grow you must know. But in order to know you have to be aware of who you are and where you are going.

Whatever you are going through currently is a test, work through it...pray through it...study through it...and grow through it... so that you can give your testimony!

Whatever you are lacking right now, you need to lack it so that when you get it in abundance you will fully respect it and understand why you have so much of it now and why you were lacking in the first place.

Whatever you need, you will get it. Believe in your heart so that you can put work and actions with your beliefs.

As a man thinketh in his heart...he is....

It's all about, YOU!

It's not about what people do to you...ultimately it's about what you do to and for yourself.
People will hurt you! The question is will you hurt you? Learning to trust yourself and learning to be intentional to yourself will change the focus of things in your life. Number 1 priority is you. When you are good to yourself it is easier for you to be good to others. Think about how much you invested into a relationship and it gave you no return. Invest in yourself mentally, physically and emotionally. The return will be great.

Think about this...when was the last time another person disappointed you? When was the last time you disappointed yourself? How often do you let yourself down? I have realized that I am hardly ever disappointed in people but disappointed in myself for allowing the let-down to occur. But then I realized some people have hurt me because they were hurt and it actually had nothing to do with me. If you are allowing someone to cause you pain...is it that persons fault or your own because you are ignoring your self-worth to make someone else happy.

I've had to realize that the power is mine and everything is a choice. The choice to stop complaining. The choice to receive and accept peace.  The choice to be happy. All of it is hard - but it is a choice. Being upset and bitter is a choice as well and I would rather choose working on being at peace.
Every habit, every thought, every move we make and step we take is a choice.
Choose to put yourself first just once and watch how you choose this every day.

As a young woman, there are times when I know it's not my fault but still I am considered at fault by someone else's standards. What do I do when this happens to me...I move on. It is hard to move on but sulking sucks. Only thing that comes from sulking is more sulking...as a man thinketh in his heart he is. Sometimes you have no choice but to move on. When it is time for things to make an exit out of your life - nothing you can do can stop it. Doesn't matter how much you love it, doesn't matter how much you need it, want it. Let it go. God is pruning you for your breakthrough.
In order to get better, you have to work at it. You have to apply the same pressure to yourself that you are applying to everything it is that you want or think you need.

The hardest lesson I ever had to learn was that nobody has to be there for you. Nobody has to do anything for you and quite frankly I am tired of being let down with expectations from others to do anything for me. I expect for me to be great but I don't expect anyone to get me there if they do I am grateful. Gratitude is better than expectations. I am grateful for what is given to me and I am grateful for what has been taken away from me. But my expectations for another will not supersede my expectations for self.

The Blues

Are you ready to live your best life? Tired of complaining, tired of hearing other people complain. Tired of negative spirits. Just tired. The last couple of days, have been rough for me. I mean ROUGH! I have been meditating, praying just anything to bring me closer to peace. Usually, I would try to surround myself with people to try to bring in louder noise to cover up the noise I was already experiencing. But this tine, it was different. I was not isolating myself from people instead I was isolating myself from the distractions that I allow other people to cause in my life. It is so easy to listen and deal with someone else's problem rather than to face your own.  How can I keep going places when I am not even in the mental space to be in that place. Starting from within, you begin to realize that the reason you are not having a good time is because that is not where you want to be. Not mentally, not physically or emotionally. We struggle in life because we can't face ourselves.

Live your best life and stop talking about what is wrong and start talking about all the things that are right in your life. Complaining is so tiring, so many people begin to complain because they don't believe in themselves. This past week I began to turn my phone off just for clarity. I needed to be sure I was making decisions

 I begin to listen to myself. Now, I will be honest most of the time I was sulking and upset but I chose to do so alone so that I could understand what I was going through before I asked someone else to understand what I was going through. 

Spending time alone gives you the space to understand why you are in this place. Lord, give me the clarity and the understanding to know why I am in this space and give  me the power to leave this place in a better space.

Today is Day 7 of the meditation for me. Today is about Giving yourself permission to heal without allowing your ego to get in the way. Allowing yourself the space to heal 

Day 3: Bringing the True Self Home

Centering Thought: My true self is the source of peace and love.

As soon as I read this, I knew! I knew this was the meditation that I needed. Why is it that these meditations seem to know exactly what you need when you need on the day that you needed to hear it! I have learned in life that my true self shines the most when I am alone, when I am centered by my thoughts and by my own truth. My own truth and what people perceive to be the truth about me are two totally different things.

What I have learned about relationships is that when you lose sight of your true self in a relationship you become disconnected. Problems stem from within, relationships start from within. But unfortunately most of our relationships our worked from the outside in. Instead of trying to understand we ultimately get mad because that person isn't doing what we want/need them to do WHEN and HOW we need them to do it. When you lose sight of your true self it is hard to differentiate your personal feelings from the feelings your partner may have about you. All we want is security but we cant allow our egos to get in the way and let us be insecure! Peace starts from within, search from within.

What I love the most about this meditation was the introduction of ones false self. Deepak says that "The true self is fundamentally different than our false self with its ego-centered desires, judgments, and goals. When we try to establish relationships based on our ego needs, we invariably find conflict." Now lets think about this statement...usually when arguments or disagreements occur it is due to the fact that somebodies ego has been offended. Lets be honest, if everybody did what you wanted, when you wanted -  there would never be any arguments but life is not like that. In the midst of the argument you are saying all the hurtful things that come to your mind because at this moment you want to hurt that person. You feel like if you cant have peace from within than they cant have peace from the outside in. Now you are disturbing your own peace by bringing conflict to someone else.

Relationships are hard work, solely because you think its about the other person but it is all about you. If you find the peace inside of yourself, you wont allow for anyone to disturb your peace and you won't attempt to disturb anyone else's either!

Sanskrit Mantra: Shanti Hum - I am Peace!

Say it with me: I am Peace. I receive Peace. I dwell in peace. I love in peace. I am peace! Peace is me!

Peace is defined as a freedom from disturbance. A disturbance is a noise or something bothering you. How much stuff is bothering you right now? Aren't you tired of stuff bothering you, don't you need some peace? Don't you want eternal freedom from disturbance in your own mind and in your own life.

Day 2: Ideal Relationships and Where They Come From

Day 2: Ideal Relationships and Where They Come From

Ideal relationships come from within you cannot expect more than you are willing to give. Working from within changes how you approach situations and people. If you are at peace with yourself you will give that peace out and  when you are in confusion people can pick up on that. Developing yourself is just as important as the development you require from everyone around you.  As much as I needed the meditation on Day 2 it was so hard to find time to settle down. But when I sat down and had a chance to meditate I realized that this was just what I had been missing at the start of my Day 2. Meditating in the morning, just like praying gives you a different sort of peace throughout the day.

During this meditation, there were two questions presented that stood out to me: Why do you connect? and Why do you disconnect? We connect because someone is giving us everything we want and everything we need. Most people begin to disconnect when they stop getting what they want. BUT- think about this if you were able to give yourself everything you need you would search for less.You would seek compliments instead of approval. The need for someone to tell you that you are constantly doing great is something that you have to work on, on your own.  The ideal relationships truly start within.

As we get older and we acquire more and more relationships we begin to expect more from everyone else than we are willing to expect from ourselves. People tend to pick up the "I can hurt you but you can't hurt me- motto" Heart to heart relationships are relationships that cause us to be vulnerable as Deepak said, these sort of relationships allow for us to be impacted by the judgment of others. And then we begin to internalize this judgment..."well, maybe it is/was my fault. I am so sorry." I am sorry to say that in an ideal relationship you won't speak as a victim. Taking responsibility doesn't mean to speak from a point of blame but from a point of how we can I resolve this.

Personally, I have truly been on a journey this last year to discover why and how people expect so much from others but in return expect nothing from themselves. You cannot expect what you are not giving. Period! For so long I spent so much time blaming others for what was happening until I had to look in the mirror and say self....maybe it is you. Once you begin to work from within you will begin to understand the dynamics of all relationships and how these relationships begin within.

Centering Thought: My relationships begin within, through love and caring for myself
If you don't love and care for yourself or if you don't even understand how to love and care for yourself how do you expect someone to understand how to do that for you. Stop expecting people to care more than you care. Life is all about connecting with yourself and finding the joy inside so that can illuminate. In order to feel the love you want from others, YOU must first give it to you. In order to find the respect you want from others, YOU must give it to you. Everything you want, expect, demand and require from everyone else start requiring it from yourself.

Question for you and I:
1. Do you show yourself compassion?

Sanskrit Mantra:
Karuna Hum - I am Compassion

Join Me: Oprah/Deepak Meditation

Day 1: All Relationship is Connection

Today I began a 21-day FREE meditation experience with Deepak Chopra AND Oprah. The 21 day Journey is entitled "Creating Peace from the Inside Out: The Power of Connection! During this experience, I will begin to discover my soul's purpose and begin to create a life in which all things are in reach!

The Centering Thought:
Ideal Relationships are my intention every day.

Sanskrit Mantra: Aham Prema - I am Love!

Clearly, I am stoked for this experience of meditation because I have been searching for peace like no other. As I get older I realize that relationships are based upon interactions but firstly your relationships are based on you as a person. Have you ever noticed some people are always noticing how nobody is there for them or nobody has their back and then you begin to realize that they are getting that energy because it is the energy they are putting out there? Start with yourself. Are you in the right place to even receive good love. Are you even giving off that energy to others?  The mantra is - I am love but I would like to add to that 'I am able to receive the love as well'. Many of us don't know how to receive what we are expecting. Many of us are always ready to point the finger and say what everybody else is not doing but never admitting to their own wrongs.

I love all things meditation, but I must be honest it takes a while to get past the idea that you are just sitting still. But then again, sometimes you just need to be still so that you may hear beyond the noise. What I am learning to love about meditation is that it forces you to sit alone with your thoughts. It forces you to be quiet and listen to your breathing. Meditation forces you to be honest with yourself. Because nobody wants to sit alone in a room breathing with a liar even if that liar happens to be you.

Sitting still in meditation and chanting can be awkward but so can having a bad attitude or walking around with a chip on your shoulder. The more uncomfortable things make me the more interested I am learning to become. I realized all the things that make me comfortable are the wrong things OR distractions just like the people in your corner who always tell you yes.

"What makes relationships challenging is that we build relationships from the outside in..."
We go into relationships with expectations of how people are supposed to treat us or what we expect from people but that is not realistic. I constantly write about or talk about putting yourself first because if you understand how to be great to you, you will be great to everyone around you.
Instead of focusing on what this relationship is not giving you decide how you can improve. Figure out how you can fix the relationship with yourself from within.

Rules for building heart to heart relations!
1. The responsibility for connecting begins with you
2. Everything depends on your level of awareness: heart to heart connections are never automatic they need attention!

Start with SELF and grow with Awareness
Relationships begin with being at peace with yourself! Finding a connection that the world cannot break!

Think about this: how can you bring peace to a situation when you are not at peace? Is it everybody else or, you?

I hope everyone who reads the blog or who I sent the link to joins me! If we want positive relationships we have to realize it starts within! Let's knock these 21 days out and open up the door to abundance!


Peace be with you!

find the meditation link here: Oprah/Deepak Meditation

How is your soul?

How is your soul?

One day when my book is a best seller and people search for me to tell me how I have helped them I will begin by asking 'How is your soul'? I read on Facebook this morning a status and it touched me it said: "sometimes how are you is not enough...I genuinely need to know about your soul..."

Maybe it stood out to me because on this day my soul needs repairing. How do I repair my soul? Like, is there a soul repairing class that I can sign up for to get my soul right? How do I get my soul right? Peace, Clarity, Understanding, Patience, Dignity and self-respect!

You have to know that you are not alone in this feeling. The feeling of not being enough, of confusion and defeat. You are not the only one. I feel so comfortable in my skin now because I understand that I am not the only one going through anything. I used to feel like nobody cared. Like it was just me against the world or the world against me, most times. I have discovered that whenever I am in a battle I have chose to be in this battle. Either consciously or subconsciously i have decided to fight in the battle. How can you find peace when you are always ready to battle. I realized that I am always ready to battle because I am battling myself.  As I am writing this I understand that most are battling between what we want and what we need. You need to understand that you cant get to where you want because you are not sure what you need. Sometimes your wants can distract you from what you need.

Take some time and fix your soul. If you fix your soul nobody can get to you.

Complaining!

The more you complain about a particular thing the more you run into that thing constantly and consistently. This morning I was having a conversation with a friend, I started to complain but then I thought about how the more I complain everything I am complaining about will begin to happen. I have realized that the power of thought and the power of words are real. If you keep talking about bad things, bad things will keep happening to you. If you want good things from life, give life good thoughts from you.

We spend so much time complaining about little things that these little things become big things. Have you ever noticed that you can think a person up, or have you ever set down to call someone and they were calling you at the same time. Think about that, how powerful your mind must be if you can think people up or speak someone up. If you gave some of that same thought to positive things imagine how much more positive things you would attract. Start thinking about what you want more instead of what you don't want!

Spend more time giving your mind power instead of negative poison.
Today I woke up ready to complain, I had the text already prepared but before I pressed send I had to think about how I woke up this morning in my right mind and I had to say I am blessed, I am alive and I have another chance to figure it out. Do you know how many people didn't wake up this morning, how many people didn't have anything to complain about?

I want a life of abundance. I DEMAND a life of abundance. In order to want and demand this life I have to change my thoughts.

YOUR THOUGHTS CONTROL YOU. You can think yourself into a mental prison OR you can think yourself into a life of prosperity. Sometimes it can be hard to stop those feelings of defeat or those feelings of self-doubt. But in reality, it is a choice. You control your thoughts but they can control you if you let them. Stop listening to the doubt channel and tune into the clarity channel. Doubt will destroy, but only if you let it. I choose to not let doubt keep me out of the game. I choose to change my thoughts so that I can be in control.

Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.
Proverbs 18:22

Stop Running!

You can run, but you can't hide.

You keep running from one thing and then you end up running into another. Running so long you don't even know what you are running from. Do you feel like running currently? Running until you can not run anymore? I feel like running into a new career, a new life. I just want to run. But what are you running from? From responsibility? from failure? disappointment? pain? Every time you run from something you RUN right back into it, just this time it's dressed differently. I ran from my job in July ran right into the same situation. I have run from so much. I have changed the route so many times by running away from myself. 

What do you mean by "I have changed the route so many times by running away from myself."? 

Instead of facing my fears countless times I have just said nonchalantly, "that wasn't for me and everything happens for a reason...' instead of believing that I could have just figured it out I would rather just say nope this is too much for me. 

Instead of running away from the problem, let's face the problem. Look at the problem and say how can I solve you. Stop letting your problems take care of you and then get mad when you can't solve them. 

A problem is a matter or situation regarded as unwelcome or harmful and needing to be dealt with and overcome. In order to solve the problem, we must stop creating these problems. 

---How do I stop creating the problems? 

So many times instead of finding solutions we create excuses. The fear of facing our own problems limits our ability to solve the issues we are facing. Rather than looking within and taking a deep dive into what is wrong with us, we focus on the external factors that are much easier to blame for things going wrong. When it comes to introspection, most of us are scared to even be honest. Instead of facing ourselves we look for the nearest exit, we want to run away and never look back. When you run from problems you are creating more stress. If you continue to avoid yourself and your problems you can begin to acquire more stress. The longer you run from your problem the more complex and compounded the problems begin to become. Learning how to stop running away from yourself can make all the difference in the world. Learning to stop blaming everyone else and having some accountability for your actions can make every difference in the world. To be in control of your life you can't run from yourself you have to face it! 

Think things through before you commit to anything think about how it will make you feel, how it will make you better, how it will change you for the better and how it will change you for the worst. When everything seems that it is going wrong and you start to feel like you are drowning. Stop right there and relax. Don't Panic! Stay calm and think things through! I know it is easier said than done but have you ever noticed that by panicking you cause more stress and create more problems. Out of panic sometimes we make stupid decisions that could've been avoided if we took the time to think.

Don't feel guilty about being in a bad situation: instead of feeling guilty about being in the situation strategize about how to get yourself out of the situation and never allow yourself to get back in the situation. Stop feeling bad and not allowing yourself to ever feel good. 

Acknowledge the problem before it acknowledges you. Be honest with yourself. Look at your life and just be honest. Ask yourself the questions that you want to know the answers too. Stand outside of yourself so that you can truly see yourself. Be neutral with you!

Stand up for yourself: Be brave! Being brave means exploring your weaknesses so that you may be strong! Look into yourself, exploring your weaknesses can be hard but this is not about belittling yourself it's about uplifting yourself. Work through the negatives about yourself  and discover why you doubt yourself. Self-reflection is so important it allows you to see you for who you really are.

New Living Translation

"That's why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:10 

#lostfiles

Take notes! Let's take a journey!

Answer these questions: Who am I? Am I who I think I am? And am I all I ought to be? 

Find a focal point for your year: Give your life a theme of purpose

Set goals that are specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and timely. All goals should be SMART:

Specific: 

Measurable: 

Attainable: 

Realistic: 

Timely: 

Set personal goals: remaining calm, being peaceful, find out what makes you happy, find your peace, find what makes you smile

Set financial goals: save more, pay yourself like you pay your bills, set up a rainy day fund 

Reset your default mode: Everything has a reset button when it comes to technology but people, we cant just reset a moment or go back to factory settings but what we can do is change our attitudes and our approach to those around us. Change your mental zip code. I know sometimes you cant just pick up and move everything in your life but you can change your mentality. You can move from a negative space to a more positive place. Acknowledge whats wrong and begin to focus on whats right! Acknowledge, accept, and change what you can and then let go of the chaos. 

Sometimes you need to change your focus. Stop focusing on what you haven't done yet and focus on what you have already completed. Start with your already done list! Focus on what you have accomplished and where you can go from there. Get out your own way! 

A few tips: "Bless the gifts that come wrapped in sandpaper" I cannot remember where I heard this but I know it helped me change the way I think. Sandpaper is used for what? Sandpaper is used for preparing wood for paint,polishing metal and can be used to roughen some materials. Wow, bless the gifts that come wrapped in sandpaper because they may be preparing you for a tough situation that you will need to get out of polished and stronger! Every problem, even those that we cant find solutions for are meant to make us better. It is not about what happens to you but about how you handle what happens to you. Every experience is a lesson. It is up to you which lesson you will choose to learn.

Stop just reacting and learn to listen!
Listen to understand and not to respond!
Respond with reasoning!

Stay in your lane!

Just realizing how many things we complain about tends to stress me out even more. I don't have this or I want this, and everyone else has more than I have. What God has for you is for you and only you. God has three answers yes, not now and no. There are no maybes with God. Gods timing is perfect. Your struggle is perfectly apart of his divine plan, your financial breakthrough is perfectly apart of Gods plan. Just imagine if you had everything you claim you wanted...would you do the right thing? Would you still praise God or would you praise those things. You have to learn to live within your moment...live for YOU and not the next person’s moment. The secret is to learn to how to pass every test that God gives us. Learn to be happy with what you have and watch how God will bless you with more. A lot of times we fail because we are comparing our success to the next persons...your success will never be identical to anyone else's. Stay in your lane and watch how you get blessed.

I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. (Philippian 4:12 NLT)

Watch out!

As a 26-year-old who grew up with social media, I have to admit that I have become a follower of many things. A follower of trends, of relationships, of blogs - just a follower. I am writing this blog because I was just looking at the Instagram page of a random girl and I went back about 52 weeks into her life. First, I must admit how distracting AND pointless it was for me to stalk her life like that. What attracted me to her Instagram page was the accolades that she mentioned in her bio. (regardless if true or not true, I have learned that people are not who they "post" to be.)  I was fond of the B.A. and M.B.A. following her name,  the awards from Forbes, extravagant purses, clothes, shoes and the beautiful vacations she took. I was watching her life and was like, my life sucks. I mean instantly, after seeing what her life seems to be I felt some type of way. It was not jealousy but a wave of can I do that? Will I do that? How do I do that? What does it take to do that? Why am I not doing it? What is the- the that  I even do? I had to snap back into reality...my actual reality. My reality where I know that pictures are just pictures and words are just words but actions are actions. Actions happen when you believe in yourself and not the pictures. Or actions happen when you see the picture and understand that you too can create that life for you. Pictures may tell one thousand words but Instagram is staged. Social media is staged. Why would anyone post the negative instead of the positive? If you came across a page on Instagram where all the person talked about is being poor, mentally and physically you would hit the unfollow button quick. Why would anyone be honest with a bunch of strangers, you have the right to create the person who you want to be. There is nothing wrong with creating the person who you want to be and then actually being it. So many people are caught up in faking it until they make it that they never even begin to do the work to actually make it.
Let me clarify this by saying I am not a hater of social media but I am living in my own reality. Understanding that life is not a problem to be solved but a reality to be lived. Social media should be a virtual vision board but don’t let it create an observer out of you. Don’t just keep watching and liking everybody else’s success or pictures of what may be a success and get out there and work! Work your gift like you watch other people work their gifts.

Are you an observer or a doer?
A doer is a person who actively does things instead of just thinking or talking about them
An observer is a person who just watches and likes.

The other day my nephew was over my house and he was on YouTube watching a little boy play a Lego game. Watching another little boy play the same game that he has on his iPad but instead of actually playing the game himself he was observing his peer. This was a very confusing experience for me. Now, let me tell you why I was confused by this- but then ultimately fascinated. Instead of playing this fun game, this 6-year-old would rather watch as someone else plays the Lego game. I watched him watch this kid play and after a while, I said to him ‘is that fun to you, watching as someone else plays the same game that you have and could be playing?’ He says “well, you watch TV” and then I thought about it. I have the same 24 hours as everybody who I am watching so why am I wasting my 24 hours watching them when I could be working on me. I am asking this 6-year-old who is doing something simple, fun and innocent such a complex question. A complex question that I am not even sure I have the answer to. I need to ask myself that question. Not only do I need to ask myself that question… I need to respond to that question with a plan of action for my life. I mean who knew that watching a child, watch another child play a game would give me insight to my life. I have been a watcher, a complainer, and a procrastinator. I have been complaining about watching people live out their dreams while I procrastinate my own dreams and keep liking and watching them live in their moment. I am now a doer (trying to do and be more daily, because some days it gets hard and I would rather just watch) because I got and still am tired of watching everybody around me do something and all I can do is be supportive. I was an observer because it is always easier watching others be great than actually trying to be great for yourself. Being a doer takes actual work and most of us would rather watch other people do the hard work.

A few tips:
Surround yourself with other doers- It is true that birds of a feather flock together. Find people who are constantly trying to be better and not stagnant. Because even if you are a watcher you will get tired of just watching. The top five people you call/ talk to are a reflection of you. Is your top five worthy of being your top 5? How about this, are you worthy of being in your top 5?

Stop giving energy to things that do not work – Insanity defined by Einstein is doing the same thing over and over again...are you going insane?

Simple: Being a doer means less talking more actions!
And the LORD answered me, and said, Write the vision, and make it plain upon tables, that he may run that readeth it.” Habukkuk 2:2

Write the vision, make it plain and then run with it... Don’t stop and call your friends until you get there. The problem is many of us start talking before we start walking. People prey on prayers, dream killers and negative Nancy’s pretending to be your friends but literally just around to shoot you down and tell you maybe that’s not for you. Make your plan, plain and work your gift! Less talking, MORE ACTION!

Don’t talk about it be about it! If you keep talking about your plans to everybody, you will wake up one day and somebody will have used your great idea!

Save that Money, Honey!

 Before you can save or invest money, you must earn it. Solomon emphasized diligence as a key to financial success. A lazy person will be poor, and most poor are relatively lazy. But the labors of the diligent man will acquire riches.

He who has a slack hand becomes poor,

But the hand of the diligent makes rich. Proverbs 10:4

The most important lesson that I have learned by listening and by bumping my head is to save my money. Prepare! Prepare! Prepare! Rainy days are real and you must prepare! There is nothing like having it all for fake and needing it all for real. There are 30 days in the month and you only have 2 days’ worth of money. Learning to save is the first key! So many people, both young and old do not understand the principles of fiscal responsibility. Paying yourself like you pay your bills is the first key to success; followed by actually paying your bills.

When your money is not together, you may have to put yourself in an uncomfortable situation to get the money! You may have to ask and you know how INDEPENDENT you are. You may have to take a job that seems to be beneath you, you may have to spend time working harder than needed just to barely make it.

Save that money, honey!

I know it’s hard to save money when there is barely any money coming in and when you are getting some money it already belongs to someone else. I remember once having to borrow money to pay back the money I borrowed to pay back the money I had borrowed a few weeks ago. It gets to a point when you don’t want to have to be in that situation. I mean, I got fed up with just not being able to do what I needed, not just what I wanted. Ignoring my credit like it was a boyfriend who would eventually get the point only led for me to be met with debt and her husband interest.

Lesson: Stop believing in someone else more than self. Believing that another person’s reassurance in YOU can assure you more than your own self-belief and your own self-worth won’t help you save a dollar. Money is not the root of all evil. The love of money and the lack of respect for money causes us to put ourselves in situations we should not be in. Being irresponsible with my money has taught me to respect money. It has taught me to open up the mail before I throw the bills in the drawer. Make arrangements and stop being prideful. Pride has never paid a bill.

Being financially irresponsible has taught me to take care of my business before it takes care of me.

Lesson: Always be prepared to take care of yourself even if someone else has promised to take care of you. (Nobody can take care of you, like you) Let everything someone does for you be a gift, not a need. Learn to say no. Saying no can save you from a lot of situations. Saying no can save you from yourself. How many times have you said yes, when you really wanted to say no and then ended up being in a bad situation. Learning to say no will save you. I have said this statement 20 times, but my favorite word is no. NO! Just feels good rolling off my tongue.

There’s danger in putting up security for a stranger’s debt;

It’s safer not to guarantee another person’s debt. Proverbs 11:15

Save that money, honey!

A few tips on saving:

1.       Pay yourself first (10 – 20 % of whatever you receive)

2.       Spend less than you earn

3.       Pay bills (on time) if you have no bills, put money to the side as if you are paying bills.

4.       Stop eating out/hanging out with your necessity money

5.       Don’t count on another

Being financially responsible takes commitment. Are you committed to being able to do what you need while also taking care of your wants? Learn to live off what you have already and not what you are expecting!  

The wise have wealth and luxury,
    but fools spend whatever they get. Proverbs 21:20

Can you help me?

I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T

I know you know what that spells.

Independent means to be free from outside control. Being independent means not depending on another’s authority. In no shape or form am I trying to say that you should be depending on every person you meet or assuming that they know what you need or what’s going on with you. Nobody knows what’s going on with you because half the time you don’t even understand what is going on with you. But that doesn’t mean that they are not willing to hear you. Don’t let your false sense of independence cause you to push the people away who want to be there for you. If you need someone for anything, whether it be for moral support or just to tell you that you are wrong when you need to hear it, allowing someone to be there for you is what being grown is all about.

Being a grown up means understanding that it's ok to need someone. I have noticed that people love to say that nobody is there for them. That is a pity-party that I refuse to join. It’s like Sorry, not sorry I don’t want to hear it. Of course, I am not there for you when I have no clue what you need from me. I may be a lot of things, but I have yet to be a mind reader. As we get older we must understand that it’s not about needing the approval of others, but the need for someone to just be there for you. Someone to not judge you, but to be understood. Someone to hear you and not respond. Sometimes you need someone to be there to tell you to shut up and get it together.

 As women, we all get to a point where we say, “I can do this by myself, and I don’t need anybody.” Or sometimes we say “I am a grown woman…” Grown women seldom have to point out how adult they are, they just are adults or in fact grown women. Being independent is marvelous, but sometimes it can bring out a level of immaturity. Let’s face it, we all need somebody to survive. You cannot do it alone. No matter how many times you say it, you need someone to support you when you doubt is higher than your confidence. We all need a good solid support system. It is amazing to me how much I have learned being “grown” I have learned that being grown has nothing to do with age it has everything to do with maturity. Being grown means reaching out for help instead of suffering in a silo.

 The most adult thing I have done has been asking for help when I needed it and not after I have already created the problem. I have realized that placing myself in a silo has had nothing to do with me feeling like no one will be there or that they don’t care. I realized it was because I was embarrassed of failing or embarrassed that they may ‘judge me’. You can be so embarrassed that you may fail that you don’t even attempt. If you are searching for independence and feel like you have to do it alone, don’t. Understand, it is ok to be vulnerable. It is ok to need someone to do something for you. Asking for help does not make you a child, asking for help means that you are mature enough to understand that you cannot do it all on your own. (And even if you could do it all alone, why would you want to?) But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 2 Corinthians 12:9

 If you feel like you can’t talk to people because they talk too much, write it down or talk to God. Just don’t walk around like you are alone because you are not. Don’t limit your support system because you are too independent to ask for what you need.

Jeopardy!!!

"Pride and confidence in oneself; a feeling that one is behaving with honor and dignity."  

What is self-respect for a 1,000,000?

 Do you know how important it is to have pride in yourself? I know, seems like a silly thing to not have. Like, who doesn't have self-respect? When I was a young girl my mother used to always say "if you don't believe in yourself, who will?' I never knew how important that was "to believe in myself" until I continued to be in situations where all I had was my faith in God and the confidence in myself. My mother probably did not know that she was preparing me to help reach other young women in the importance of self-respect. Actually, she probably did know. I mean the world is hard and cold and if you don't have that confidence in yourself - you will not make it. That sounds harsh but, in reality, it is the only truth. People who love you will hurt you, so imagine people who do not know you. Sometimes people hurt you and then they move on with their day. They have not even realized that they have ruined your day but it has shifted the paradigm of your day. Your normal focus has been altered by a person who does not even know that your thought process has shifted. Not only do they not know your thought process has shifted, they don't even care. The power is yours, BUT so many of us give OUR power to others without even knowing. Self-respect is what kicks in when people doubt you, self-respect is what kicks in when you doubt yourself.

"Lack of confidence in one's self and ones abilities?"
What is self-doubt for 1,000,000?

  

It is hard to flush out the idea that you have been treating yourself just as bad as the people who you don't want to treat you bad. Why are you treating yourself badly? Think about it. What is it that you are seeing about yourself that is causing you to harm yourself? When I was treating myself "bad" I was not aware. I was in a situation where I thought I was treating myself right. I was working my body out, but not my mind. I was so fixated on the physical that I had forgotten about my mental growth. I forgot what my mother told me about believing in myself. I can be honest. It is hard to believe in yourself when every time you think you are about to catch a break you actually break your arm.

 Self-doubt happens when you grow up, when you get your first job, when you fail a test, when you get your heart broke, after graduation. Self-doubt happens. It is a part of growing up. When you feel like everybody in the world has counted you out, count yourself in.  Easier said than done? Not really. This is what affirmations are for. Speak some magic into your life. Yes, take some power and speak it into your life. I know it's lame and not that exciting. But it is much better than walking around speaking negativity into your life. If you say I can’t all day by the end of the day you really just won’t be able to. Words have power. Speak power into your life instead of inefficiencies.

I believe in you. I see the confidence in you!

Mirror, Mirror

Have you ever felt like you were being attacked? That everything you said and everything you did was just scrutinized. Not just by your parents or your peers but literally by everyone. The clerk at the bank, you're significant other, The waitress at the restaurant, the kids playing outside. The list could just go on and on but then do you ever believe that you could be the cause of what's bothering you. No, of course not everybody else is crazy and you are perfectly sane. Two tips: 1. Stop giving everybody the power to get under your skin. 2. Stop trying to follow everyone else's life and create your own life. It's not me, it is everybody else.  But, just in case this is really about you...what are you going to do? How are you going to change that? What if you were exactly what everybody else said you were but YOU refused to believe it. Aren't you tired of being the person everyone said you would be when that person is mean or busy or "crazy" or just not the person who you envisioned yourself being?

There are many times in life when you need to just look in the mirror and have a conversation with yourself. Self, I am tired of being who everybody says that I am. Self, when I look in the mirror I see greatness. How do I become the greatness that I see versus the mediocrity everyone is speaking into my life. First: Shut out the noise and find yourself. Who is it that you see in the mirror? Who is it that you want to see? Second: Treat yourself better so that you only accept that treatment as well.

Self, I want to be my best self, can you help me get there? Talking to yourself may seem crazy (Only if you answer back) but who else knows you like you do...there is a constant theme when it comes to self-growth and that first step is honesty with oneself. Look in the mirror and strip yourself of the expectations from outside factors. Find out what you expect from yourself like you know what you expect from everyone else. I expect my man to be this, I expect my mom to do this and I expect my dad to be there and I expect my friends to understand. But what do you expect from yourself? “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.”

You can call your friends, maybe even talk to your pastor but if you are not ready, to be honest with you and tell yourself to get out your way. Then you will constantly begin to perpetuate the stereotypes that have been placed on you. I truly believe a lot of greatness has been halted by our own personal thoughts about ourselves. Imagine if you did all of the things that people said you couldn't do instead of the things they said you would do. Give energy to the things you love instead of the things you dislike. Easier said than done...think about it. There are times when I have been pissed off and I have got to tell someone about how pissed off I am but what if I just wrote it down, thought about how to improve the situation and just moved on how much of a better position would I be in. Stop giving small situations big limitations.

Learning to get out your own way is hard. But allowing people to be in your way is easy, we use these people as tools. Tools to help count us out when we need to be counted in. Instead of having accountability partners we have self-doubt partners or pity-parties. I am tired of having a pity party and I am tired of having self-doubt crews. I enjoy people who hold me accountable, but when I am accountable for my actions I attract like minded people. The better I am to myself the better I am to others.

Mirror, Mirror give me eyes that allow me to see past the surface but eyes that allow me to see the

substance in myself.

Peace!

Dealing with no.

I want everything that I want right now!  But Success is a process. a long daunting, drawn out, exacerbating process. But everything that happens, happens in time for a reason to help you determine your purpose. Your purpose is your reason to wake up, your reason to continue but so many of us stop at the but. We can't admit our faults and let go of our excuses. Learning, to be honest with yourself is a difficult truth to face. We lie to ourselves more than we like to admit. We pretend to be happy, we pretend to have it all but in essence, we can't face ourselves. I remember when I was going through this rough patch in my life. My words were not aligning with my thoughts and my actions were not aligning with my words or thoughts. I was stubborn and angry and defensive but it wasn't my fault. It was everybody else's fault that I was in my situation. It was someone else's fault that I didn't have money saved, that I didn't get that job or that I couldn't figure out my life. If you see where I am going here, I am going into the realm of excuses. And if we know anything about anything then we know that excuses build monuments of nothingness. I got tired of making excuses about what everybody else was doing wrong to me and began admitting what I was doing wrong to myself. It sucked being honest and transparent to myself but I began to see my life change. Not overnight, but with time. With time God revealed to me that I could elevate myself to higher platforms by letting his will be done in my life. 

"You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised." Hebrews 10:36 

God's timing is not always going to be pleasing to you. I want what I want right now. God says no, I refuse to wait. Impulsive. In life, you must realize that in order to grow, you must know what it is that you are growing from. If you failed a test and never reviewed the test to learn from your mistakes how will you know what you need to correct? 

How do I deal with no? How do I trust that the pain I am enduring now is worthwhile? How do I trust the process, when I am not sure that it will work? How do I trust that this no, is not a door closing permanently? There are so many questions that remain unanswered. But, imagine if you received all the things that you have been asking for? What would you have done with all the yes's? I understand that every no is not final, but sometimes it is hard hearing no. Hard always being prepared for no. But that is when your confidence should kick in. Not the confidence that others have in you but the confidence you have in yourself. So many times we can't deal with "no" because of the expectations we are trying to live up to for someone else. The first step in dealing with no is being able to look at yourself in the mirror and have the wisdom to understand that you were not really ready for the "yes". 

I remember a time when all I heard was no. It was so common for me to hear no that I started to think my name was no. I had become the no before I even asked the question in my mind, I knew the answer would be no. I was so defeated. But, then I realized I was receiving these "no's" because I was not ready for the yes! Learning to not only understand that I was receiving the "no's" because I had not been through what I needed to get to what I wanted. There are levels and steps and dimensions you can’t just wake up on top. You have to go through something. How you deal with the "no's" will determine how many "yes's" come your way. 

Accept and learn that 'no' has 'no' power over your life but, it should encourage you to keep going. It should encourage you to look within yourself and see what you can improve. We can always do more if we want more. Stop walking around wanting everything from everyone and you won't do anything for anyone else. 

Peace be with you! 

Finishing what you started!

Peace be with you! 

May peace surround you and give you guidance! What I want to do with Ladies in Training is to surround young beautiful women in an environment where they can learn and grow together with each other. Competition is healthy but comparing yourself to your peers can be deadly. Each week or daily as my schedule permits I will update the website with a L.I.T. tip to help get us through the week. No matter how beautiful, smart, outgoing, successful or "happy" you think somebody is they still are searching for peace or learning to maintain their peace. 

Today's L.I.T. tip is to remain in your peace. Don't allow another person’s unhappy space cause you confusion.

I know it’s like, how? How can I maintain peace when I haven't found out what Peace is for me? Peace is defined as freedom from disturbance; quiet and tranquility.

How can you free yourself from disturbance? First, figure out what is disturbing you. Some of us have been living in so much noise that we don't even trust the peace that we could possibly be in. Get rid of the noise that's in your space and Life. If that noise is social media, just delete the social media! Learn to get rid of the noise so that you may be able to focus on your peace!

 
Stay L.I.T~ Jasmin 

Ladies In Training!